


Learned all my lessons. before now

by Aaronlisa



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jossverse
Genre: F/F, Gen, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaronlisa/pseuds/Aaronlisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Faith can never have Buffy so she pushes what she feels away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learned all my lessons. before now

**Author's Note:**

> A character study set during Season Three. The title comes from the Local H song "Bound to the Floor."

Faith knows that what she feels for the blonde Slayer will never be returned. So she does her best to push those unrequited feelings deep inside of her because she doesn't want to be pathetic. It's bad enough how Xander and Willow stare at Buffy, as if either of them could ever stand a chance. And Faith doesn't want to be as pathetic as they are. 

She shed that pathetic skin back in Boston when destiny set her apart from the rest of the populace. There is no way that Faith ever intends to regress, even if she's not the one girl in all the world that she was supposed to be. And it's pathetic enough that she's accepting of the fact that instead of just being the Chosen One, she's now one of the Chosen Two. 

Yet when she watches Buffy on the dance floor in painted on leather pants, a flimsy and silky top and a pair of sky-high heels, Faith can feel her resolve melting. All she wants to do is to kneel at Buffy's feet and worship her body inch by inch. It takes almost everything in her to hang onto her resolve, especially when Buffy realizes that Faith is at the Bronze and she crooks her finger at her, beckoning Faith to join her. 

It's bad enough that she responds to that careless smirk on Buffy's lips like Pavlov's dog. However Faith refuses to stoop any lower than that. After all Buffy just sees the pair of them as two hot girls with super powers, including the ability to make every boy drool when they're on the dance floor together. Buffy can't grasp the concept that Faith would anything more than that. 

And that's the crux of the problem. Buffy is blind, either because of naivety or because of deliberation. She either refuses to acknowledge the depth of Faith's emotions (and lust) or she is too inexperienced to recognize it for what it is. And to make matters worse, Faith doesn't want to attempt anything because she doesn't want to be rejected (again.) 

Faith knows that in the end, no matter what, Buffy will reject her. Any type of acceptance will eventually be rejected because Buffy would never accept who Faith is, who Buffy is even underneath all of those layers of blonde perfection. Buffy doesn't want to realize that they're nothing more than killers. 

So Faith does her best to internalize what she feels and she pushes it all deeper and deeper inside of her until all she feels for Buffy is a jealousy because Buffy has it all when Faith has nothing. 

((END))


End file.
